Catching Fire with Jingying and Lydia ♥

Went out with Jingying and Lydia, hahas xD It's as if I haven't seen Jingying for a long time, but that's true, the last time I saw her was during Chem SPA, and well, no more :( So went out with her today and Lydia too and we went AMK Hub to catch a movie!!
I seriously love the Hunger Games series, like Catching Fire is nice to watch, really!! Like it has so much tension in it, hahas xD But I swear the people sitting behind us is just so... -.- LOL. Like can you not comment on everything that is showing? And I seriously love Finnick, like, he is just so damn 帅!! And and, his love for Annie, is just so touching :') Hehehe ;)
But anyways, we decided to watch Mockingjay together, yay!! But that's only next year, after Os bahhh ;) But Ill probably cry during Mockingjay :'( Especially after reading the book (yes, I've read the book beforehand cos' it's really nice, besides I've nothing to do, hahas)
So after the movie, we went to eat pepper lunch, and I seriously love the mash potato there, hehe ^^ And we were discussing about the movie, since Jingying didn't watch Hunger Games, we were starting to explain things to her, but it's frustrating to talk to her at times, hahas xD She can repeat the same question thrice, even when I answer her the first two times, arghhhhh :/
Then we went window-shopping, which we were intending to do at Orchard, but realised that we have no time :( So we can only stay in AMK. Ohoh, heard that there's no Graduation Night next year, like what? Are you serious? How can you let our batch of Sec 4s leave school without a Grad Night?! But I hope it's not true, hahas, cos' I'm still quite looking forward to Graduation Night!! Oh, and yeahh... You actually look quite good during your Grad Night, just saying ;)
That's all for today!! And... So, I hope that I can actually find some motivation to study, like, I need to study my A-Maths but I've no motivation to study, so... Haizzz... I probably need to find a study buddy sooooooooon :(

Out with Xuan and Yunjing ♥

Haven't posted for quite some time, hahas xD So after having no life for a week :( Went out with Xuan and Yunjing yesterday, yes, finally!! And well, waited for 20mins for Xuan -.-, we finally set off to Pasir Ris Park! And well, Xuan did make up for herself, cos' she got us something from Thailand and it's a pretty bracelet!! ;)
So we ate lunch at Whitesands before heading off to Pasir Ris Park, but it started raining heavily. And this sounds stupid, but we walked around in the rain for an hour or two hours plus, while trying to find E-Hub, cos' we were lost :( With only an umbrella, we were naturally drenched, argh :/ I'm so lucky that I'm not sick today, hehe! ^^
Let's just say that we were discussing how romantic it is to walk in the rain, but the rain yesterday was extremely big, that we had no choice but to share just one small umbrella, that can never shelter three of us, so yeah... :(
After walking in the rain for an hour or so, my legs were just killing me :/ But being the lucky me, my clothes dried off rather fast, as the sun started showing up, hahas xD Then we took a bus to Tampiness, and Xuan got her doughnut. The doughnuts were nice-looking, but I didn't feel like eating, blehhh x.x
If you were to ask me what did we do for yesterday, I practically have no idea, hahas x.x Uhhh... Walking in the rain? Having short heart-to-heart-talks on the bus, hahas xD But either way, we had fun yesterday, in one way or another, though it's extremely tiring, like seriously!!!
So no more cycling, at least not during this holiday x.x So the next time when we go out, we're gonna catch Frozen!! Yunjing's idea, but I find the trailer rather cute, hehe xD
That's all for yesterday, 28.11.13 ♥

Just a short post ;)

As the title says it all, I shall type a short post, since I'm bored but I'm kindda tired, hehe x.x Anyways, so went out with Yun Jing today to send Lixuan off, omg, I think I'm a rather good friend ;) Hahas, but yeah, so we spent some time at T3 to look at planes (and yes, I've seen planes before), and talked for a while. Then we went down to Plaza Sing to have our lunch and later went to Bugis to do some window-shopping, cos' I'm broke T.T I'm in need of clothes but I'm broke, ohwells T.T So yeah, then we just spent some time at Bugis walking around, till my legs are killing me :/ And yesh, I'm finally back home!! It's been a rather long day, phewwww~ Gonna meet up with Lydia tomorrow, and hope that I'll be able to finish up my tuition homework tonight :x
Ohoh, tomorrow's your Graduation Night and I really hope you would enjoy it!! Plus... I hope there would be some photos, hahas x.x

Chemistry SPA ^^

11.11
Hahas, just thought that today is a good day ;)
So had Chem SPA today, and well, it's so much easier than Physics. Damn, I seriously hate Physics SPA :( But anyways, it wasn't that bad, though I think I got my SOE wrongly, but who cares, it's over!! Finally, not going back school anymore, and that just means that I won't be able to see you fro like 2 months :( But either way, I'm glad, I don't have to be back in school.
Ohoh, and I seriously need to do hardcore revision for these 2 months. Not only Physics and A. Maths, but also Geog and so on. Gahhhhh, I hate life now :( Time flies, like, it's been 3 years. Can someone tell me what have I been doing for these 3 years?! And next year, will be taking our O levels, and soon, all of us will go our separate ways to JC/Poly and so on, and well... Time really flies :O
I've actually wanted to just relax for this holiday, but the amount of workload and the stress level is just x.x STUDY. I need to study. Arghhhhh :/ Shall just plan out a timetable soon, and in the meantime, let me just find some shows to watch, hahas ;D

Malaysia ^^

Finally, I'm back! ^^ As usual, had to wake up early to catch the 7.30 bus to Batu Pahat and it's really tiring T.T I actually have a love-hate relationship for long bus rides, hahas. I mean I love long bus rides cos' I get to think of things while listening to music non-stop, but then thinking of things for at least 2 hours can get me overthinking, if I'm not intending to sleep. So I didn't sleep on my way to BP, I don't know why, just couldn't sleep, though I was like super tired. Then I started overthinking, and... It got me really upset, but then again, everything was alright, after a while. Hahas.
So had my hair done on the first day there, and it took me like 4 hours to be there. One thing I hate about getting my hair done is the long waiting time. But it's necessary, so it's making me very pekcek, arghhh :/ Anyways, nothing much on first day, as I was like super tired, and there's no wifi so I slept early, at around 9pm(?) Hahas xD
Next day, we had to go to pray at the temple, and I didn't know what happen, halfway while praying I just felt like fainting. And according to my cousins, they say my face was very pale, so I sat somewhere for 20 minutes, and I think I slowly got better, but my head still hurts. I hate it whenever my head hurts, it's like two drums pounding, and it gets on my nerves >:( Anyways, so I slept over at my cousins' place. Slept at around 1 plus and got woken up at around 4 plus by her baby. Cos' he was running a fever, poor thing :( So I took care of him for a while, before he got back to sleep and I went back to sleep too. But he woke me up at 8 plus, so I only had a few hours of sleep, and I'm seriously very tired. Have I ever mentioned that he is really really really really very cute? Hehehe, when he smiles, it's like really very cute xD
I've always loved going to Malaysia, get to have short talks with my cousins, get to take care of the kids, and most importantly, I get to relax myself over there. Hahas ^^ Ohoh, and Aunty bought a pair of shoes for me, while Daddy got me a new bag!! Hehehe, I love them ♥
I can't wait to get back to Malaysia, having a short trip there once in a while, is really relaxing!!! ^^

Chinese O levels

So today was like the first time I took O levels, and really it's nothing different from normal examinations. But the fact that it's Os and it's at a different venue, it just gives people a stressful feeling :/ And I just have to bring my jacket next year during my Os, cos' it'll just be SUPER cold, arghhhh :( Either way, I'm glad that I had bet on 报章报道, I think I did rather well, but it was kindda hard to think of the reason for 为什么 (一), hahas, but nonetheless, I think I managed to pull it off, I hope *prays* And for the e-mail, I just decided to write 私人电邮, cos' I forgot all my 公务电邮's format. And I just wrote about the Geography field trip, but I was just there thinking of how to give all the geographical terms, like how in the world do you say "beach gradient" in chinese? :O Either way, I think Paper 1 was rather easy, I hope can score, especially my Compo :/
And I thought 1 hour was enough to finish 2 open-ended comprehensions, but I was wrong, so I had to rush out the answers, and I swear that isn't my handwriting at all!! :/ Spent 30 minutes on MCQ (okay, that's rather a lot :/) and when I compare answers with the rest, I think I lost... 4-5 marks, ohshit :/ 25/30(?) I don't think my open-ended can score that well, but what's done is done :/ Besides, I managed to finish all of it despite my stomachache, so I should be proud of myself, HAHA.
What's done is done. I just really hope I can score that A, be it if it's A2 or A1, I just need that A. I mean... I've studied Higher Chinese for like 3 years, it's a pity to drop only now, isn't it? So exams are over, for now, and I should really enjoy myself tomorrow onwards till Sunday, until Chem SPA comes :/ Off to Malaysia for the next three days ;) Kindda looking forward to it, since I can forget ALL my troubles there, hahas, it's rather relaxing being on a holiday there ;)
Ohoh!! Saw you today, and have I ever mention that 你认真的时候很帅? Hahas, I mean it. I mean, I don't usually say that you are 帅 but when I caught you for that few seconds, and saw how serious you were, I seriously thought so, hehe xD I don't know if it's a good thing or what, but you are sitting in the same row as me, it's just that I'm on one side, and you're on the other side, so I don't have much chance of seeing you :( Nonetheless, I saw you today, and I should be glad, cos' afterall, I can't see you next week, so yeahhhhh~ Hehehe xD

Add-on

Okay, so Chinese Os is tomorrow and to say that I'm not scared is definitely not true :/ But anyways, I really hope that the paper would be quite easy. I just... I just hate choosing the topic for composition, argh damn.  I thought I could rely on 报章报道 but then I realise Express Chinese and Higher Chinese is a bit different. And I seriously scared that 记叙文 would have 陷阱 :/ But I'm not that strong in 论说文 cos' what if I can't think of 建议, arghhhhhh :/ And that stupid e-mail, god, can I don't take the exam? :( I really just hope that the paper would be do-able, I mean, I don't wanna screw up another O level paper x.x

Pre-exam stress?

Is it normal to have those days whereby you don't even feel like talking at all? I mean, I really just don't feel like talking to you guys today, it's normal isn't it? Can't I have those days? I don't know why. You say you've read my previous tumblr post, but then again, I wonder if you really understand what I wrote, or are you just treating that as another rant? That's a rant, I know, but that is the exact same thing that I wouldn't say it out. How am I supposed to say that out? You make it sound so easy to express myself. Maybe it is easy for you, but me? Being around you guys, who simply refuse to hear me out, I just really think that keeping to myself is like the best thing to do. Best thing to do in my entire life, I swear.
I'm tired of trying to make you guys listen. I've tried all sorts of ways, I think. But none of them work. You seem to think that I'm just an emotionless robot who just needs to listen to you guys spazz, complain and so on. And me? Nothing, I've absolutely nothing to say. When I don't talk, you would criticise, saying I pms again. When I wanna talk about my stuff, you guys just don't listen. And what hurts the most would be... Yeah, you let me talk, for that few sentences and you just carry on with your topic. Kcan.
I don't feel like talking today, and I swear, I don't think it's just cos' I'm stress over Os tomorrow. Maybe a part of it. But just a small part of it. (I usually don't feel the stress until I'm taking the exam or when I'm in the exam room). But you thought I was stress, or whatever. I don't care. I told you guys to take another route to go home, cos' I just don't wanna walk with you guys. Cos' I know I won't talk at all. You know, it's like I've nothing to say to you now. And I realise why... We've been talking about guys like 7/8 of the time. But. I. Don't. Wanna. Talk. About. Guys. Now.
Yesterday, the topic of "have you ever dislike any actions of your friends". You know if you wouldn't there, I would have talk about it. But you were there. And I just can't. I really need to get this damn thing out. I hate how your life seems to be revolving around guys. I hate how you would just carry on talking and don't even give a damn about other's problems. You aren't the only one with problems. Everyone else have their problems. But when the other is having troubles, and if you think you can't give advice, just shut up and listen. That helps. At least this is better than talking non-stop about your stuff. That hurts like hell.
Both of you are just so damn similar. Really. You say you aren't like that. But I doubt so. Would a thief ever admit that he's a thief? Never. Besides, I don't think you ever see the problem of that. I would really rather talk to anyone else than you guys. I don't know. I just can't. I don't want to. And no, it's not because of exam stress. It's the people. The people who just make you so damn disappointed that there's no point in hoping cos' that would just bring greater disappointment. I know. Cos' I've been hoping for god knows how long, but nahh, that just doesn't come. Cos' you guys don't even realise. You're too busy revolving yourself around your own things that you don't care about others. I'm used to it. Really. So you should just get used to those days when I don't wanna talk to any of you. Can?

Swimming ^^

So no classes today (and it's only for the one day, argh, damn :/) but anyways, went out with Lydia and Li Xuan to Yio Chu Kang for a swim!! And well, we only swam like 3 laps and I got tired. I'm seriously running out of stamina, I need to head the gym soon T.T And maybe go cycling one day, and badminton on the other day, and so on, I just need to exercise. Not only to keep healthy and fit but to keep up with my stamina for Physical Torture or Physical Training once CCA resumes next year x.x Either way, so gonna go out for exercise!!!
Anyways, so I was like asking around, and people agreed with me that last week, which is the first week of bridging, time passes by very, very, very slowly :( I'm serious, not even normal school week has went pass that slow. At least Monday and Tuesday ended early, thus, it was still okay, but slowly, it gets worse. Maybe everyone's in holiday mood now, or maybe, it's really just school being such major turn-off, I don't know. I just know that this week should pass by rather fast. Cos' afterall, Monday is over. Tomorrow, I'll end at around 12 (blehh, everyone else end at 11, and I end an hour later, stupid chinese :/) Wednesday is O levels, oh gosh, can I like... Don't take it :( And well, not going to school on Thursday and Friday, good, this week should be relatively fast! ;) Then there's Chem SPA next Monday, but I guess, other than that, there wouldn't be any more school activities!! YESHHHH!!
I seriously hope there wouldn't be any CCA outing or whatsoever, I mean, ewww, no, I don't want to come back for CCA. What's the point? I seriously don't get her idea of having a CCA outing or a CCA camp. LOL. You just wanna show off to others that our department are just as bonded aren't you? But face it, we're not! By putting up a show is so much worse cos' it doesn't show that you're bonded, it might even make things worse. So, no, I don't want a CCA outing, maybe I can consider, if you're not going, but ohwell, you're the one who wants it so how can you not go? The only time when I consider this a success, is when the seniors plan it, they plan it, not for the sake of putting up a show, but they want us to enjoy ourselves, so either way, last year's outing was a success. Now? Never.
I just hope Chinese Os on Wednesday would be easy, I mean... I really hope I can get A1, or at least an A2, if not I need to have a talk with Mr Tang (he 90% sure make me drop if I get B3, arghhhhhh :/). And also Chem SPA. LOL, screwed my Physics SPA so badly, I just hope I can do well for this x.x

Physics SPA :(

Who would said that SPA was easy, or can score? Like how can we ever score if we can't interpret the question correctly? What happens when we messed it up? Would we be able to pass or fail? Yeah, maybe you won't fail SPA, but then again, you won't pass that well either would you? Maybe a 6/10? I don't know. I screwed up SPA so damn badly. Totally read the question wrongly, did the whole experiment wrongly, graph drawn wrongly. I'm lucky if I can ever passed. LOL.
I don't know why I feel unhappy about this, but it's like you make it seem like you're the only one screwing up SPA, like hello? I screwed it up as badly, or much worse than you. Yeah, you're the only one that's emo-ing. But then again, showing emotions in front of you guys is simply a difficult task, cos' simply you guys don't care. So why should I bother? I'm done trying to find out things, I'm done trying to change things and make it seem like before. You don't even bother trying, why should I? And it's like, I don't know, getting pangseh by you, well, I don't mind. Really, I don't. Just don't blame me if I ever did that next time, alright? ;)
Anyways, so had late lunch with Comane, Jing Ying and Lydia afterwards, and I walked home with Comane later. It was SUPER fun talking to her, love talking to her so muchhhhh!! ^^ Walked all the way to Hougang Mall to get my dinner. Gosh, I feel so damn fat :( Had subway for dinner, Comane was like saying, "You always grumble about how much you wanna eat subway, now I give you eat, then you say you don't want." Hahahas, heyyyy, I was craving for subway back then, but now, is coffee bean, hahas xD So we burnt calories along the way and I realised walking with Comane is rather stressed T.T She always talk about healthy diet, and burning of calories and I just feel so damn fat after being with her >:( Hahahas xD
Anyways, after buying dinner, Comane and I walked our separate way home :( Hahas! But at the bus stop, met Jia Wen! Gosh, how long have I not seen her?! So we chat and caught up with each other, and well, it was really really really very fun ;)
Talking to these two girls, really just make me forget everything about SPA. Actually, come to think of it, I don't really care much now. It's like... Can I just bloody give up on Physics? HAHAS. Or is there anyone who can offer their help? :( Ohoh, and I need tuition for Maths too!!! Had to go and take the Supplementary Examination next year for A-Maths, and here I am thinking, "Can I just drop both A Maths and Physics?" This would make my life so much easier!!! Haizzzz...I totally suck at Maths and Sciences, but you know, they were supposed to be my best subjects last year, HAHAS. This sucks. Totally.
Anyway, all I can do now is to pray that my SPA would be alright, I'd probably be a disappointment to Mr Zhuang, but ohwell. I really tried my best. Bloody question, I don't even understand what the hell you want to find.
Lastly, it's 1st November. and even though, the start didn't start of so well, I just hope the rest of November would be awesome, and good to me. So November, please be good to me x.x

Randommmmm~ ♥

Well, I saw you today, hehe, should I be happy x.x I don't knowwwww~ It's like... I don't know why, maybe I'm just being sensitive, or maybe it's just a coincidence. But I don't understand why your friend would be like... I don't know how to explain. I know you already know that I like you, and well, I'm sure your clique knows. And that's the scariest part. Having so many people to know, when I'm already really, really, really, trying to be so discreet. I mean, the only times that I would really show it is when I saw you walking past, and I'll probably smile like some mad woman, but hey, I could be talking to Comane right? Or maybe well, I don't know, I just feel like I'm really discreet enough~~~
Back then at Hougang 1, that was already one proof, wasn't it? When I had eye contact with your friend, and all of a sudden, you just walked over to KFC when you were supposed to be at Macs. You even walked twice. Once to tie your shoelaces, the other time... You said hi, omg, come to think of it now, I just can't help but smile, hehe x.x And now, that same friend of yours just came into school, and later he walked in but later walked out, and just nice, you came in. I don't knowwwwwwww :( I don't mind you knowing, if you don't 反感 me. I don't really mind your clique knows, hahas, who am I kidding, they already know. As much as I'm trying to persuade myself that they know anything about this, I know it's not true. Maybe not the whole clique, but still... Letting someone who doesn't know me that well know is abit...
Today was your last paper, isn't it? Physics paper, Mr Zhuang said it was difficult... How did you fare? Did you think you do well? I don't know, I think you can do it though, I mean, isn't your Science good? Not gonna see you anymore, well except when we're taking our O levels' paper next year. But for that one damn day, it's just... NOT ENOUGH :( I could see you yesterday, but I don't know why I just leave school early. I mean... Left at 3.45pm, just when you ended your paper. If I left at 4pm, I could probably see you, but I just didn't. And I really, really, really, really, regret it :( Seeing you today just makes me greedy, makes me want more, howwww~ I can't continue this. Today is really the last day when I'm gonna see you, can you... Would you still come back next year? I doubt so, you hate coming back school, for don't know what reason, but yeah...
I just want you to know. I missed you this whole time not being able to see you. Always thinking of a way to see you, but I guess, I always give up on that chance. I regret it alot. But there's not point regretting now, cos' I can't get those times back. Maybe... Let me find out which JC/Poly you're going, who knows~~~ Hahas xD
It's not officially the end of Os so don't slack so much, alright? Left all the paper 1s so still jiayous! You can do it! ♥

Insidious 2 T.T

Just watched Insidious 2 with Jing Ying, Comane and Xin Yun ^^ But trust me, I'm NEVER gonna watch Insidious 3. T.T It's like I'm wasting money to scare myself, and gosh, I probably only watched like... 3/10(?) of the movie x.x But nonetheless, it was rather alright, hahas, since I watched so few scary parts, I'm not as scared as Comane is now, HAHAHAS :')
I've no idea how do people managed to keep their eyes open throughout the whole movie, not even flinching a little :( I'm never able to do that *sobs* But either way, Jing Ying was the bravest, HAHAS, that girl has nothing to be afraid of, (cos' she doesn't even understand the movie line, ahaha) but well, she enjoys watching horror movie, blehhh~ And well since Xin Yun wanted to watch, I guess, she wasn't that scared ;) Hahas, Comane and I are the most coward ones :'( But nevermind, I'll overcome it one day, I hope *prays*
Agreed to watch Insidious 2 cos' of Xin Yun (she better be honoured), hahas xD So, Xin Yun, Happy Belated Birthday, hope you've enjoyed your birthday present!!! ♥

Gala Dinner xD

Okay, so after days of rehearsals and tiredness and stressfulness and all kinds of negative impacts, Gala Dinner is finally over!!! And well, it's really considered a success ;) Even though with some problems such as the mic having no sounds for the Chinese Opera, or maybe having feedback during some speeches, otherwise, this event would be perfect. But nonetheless, there's no such thing as perfection in the world. So either way, I'm happy of these event being perfect in it's own way! ^^
Another thing to be happy about would be that actually things went quite smoothly today. Regardless if it's with her or him, everything was rather smooth. Hahas, and to be honest, I was still worrying over how things would be as I was walking to school, but nonetheless, things went well right from the start. A good start has already achieve you half of the success. And as for him, hmmm... Let's just say that those hard feelings were no longer there.
I admit, I wasn't exactly in the right for this matter, but I'm not entirely at fault. It's just... When I wanna solve things, he doesn't. And when he does, I didn't want to. So it ended up not helping us at all. But I just hope that all of these would still maintain, and I really, really, really hope that everything would be alright. I don't expect things to be like before, but at least, not as bad as last time.
Either way, I'm glad I went for this duty. Regardless, if it's for the CIP hours, or is it that our hard work really paid off, or maybe it's because I managed to solve my problems, I'm just so, so, sooooooooooooo happy that I went. For that, I thank the school for holding this Gala Dinner ^^

K.O One 2 ♥

I really love the 终级系列!! Be it if it's K.O One 1/2/ Re-Act, or The X-Family, or K.O 3an Guo, I love all of them!! Maybe it's also because of the characters, hahahahas xD

Have I ever mention 子閎 is really really really really very 帅? OMG ♥.♥

Hehehe, but either way, actually K.O One 2, had taught me quite alot. Maybe... One thing is for sure, I'm seriously very jealous of 终级一班's class spirit and friendship. That is what I called bonded. No matter what happens, they would be there for each other, they would stand up for each other. I love it whenever they say "因为我们是终级一班", it's like, it's a routine to be there for each other. Be it if it's the most formidable King, or the most narcissist, 花玲珑, or that 没有存在感的那个谁, or even the most humorous yet easy to bully 金宝三, they would be there for them, and it's really fun and touching to see each of their 接触 xD And well, 裘球 is simply soooooooo cute ^^
And I really love one of her lines, which is something like... 单恋也算是一种恋情，但是只要我继续喜欢下去，不放弃，那么我就不算是失恋啊! She said that to 中萬均, which is that guy above ^^ And he said that to King, who is also known as 雷婷. It always happens in drama, I like you but you like her but she like him and the line continues. And that too happens in real life though, it's painful but you don't have a choice over who you like, do you? And so, 裘球 said that she would continue to like 中萬均 because she doesn't want to 失恋, which I find it rather sweet. It's like, he knows that you like him, and you too, knows that he has some other girl that he likes, but because you really really really like him, so you didn't want to give up. Yeah, some may say that it's stupid, but really, if you can give up so easily, is that even considered 'like', in the first place? So I say, I've not really 'liked' someone so far, maybe just eye candy or crush, I don't know. My feelings are just so mixed up.
Adding on, I love one of the lines in 曾佩慈's song, 数不尽的星空.
原来就好的拥有，是不曾拥有.
I swear, this line can make people relate to it so much. It's like placing your happiness on someone, and you would only lose your happiness when that someone leaves. So why even bother to place it on them in the first place? You felt the need to. But is it really true? You're just so used to people, or maybe that particular person, being around you, being so close to you, that you find yourself being unhappy when that person isn't there anymore.
But trust me, never put your happiness on someone, because you can't be sure that that person would be there forever. What if he/she decides to leave halfway, wouldn't you be losing your happiness? Being reliant on someone isn't the best thing either, because when you get used to him/her being there everytime, would just make you feel lost when he/she isn't there. It's hard, I know, but unless you can be so sure that he/she would be there for you everytime, then just place your happiness to yourself.
Just a short note aside from this: You like him, that I know. But other than liking, you're actually reliant on him. That I know you know. But I'm saying this, cos' it gets to the point where you're somewhat becoming so similar like her. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. But you're getting the "attention" from him so often, so easily, that you've forgotten how it was like when you first started it. When you would always try to catch a glimpse of him, and later be happy about it for a whole day. Or maybe when he talks to you, even if it's for that few sentences, you would be so happy. You've grown so used to that "attention", that well, you're becoming more and more like her. Always caring about your relationship with him. You are already insensitive enough, and well, forgetting about all these "first times", it just becomes worse, because you would never understand how the people around you, like me, feels. I've never told you this, cos' I didn't know how to say. You might feel I'm saying it cos' I'm jealous or envy of your relationship with him. Or maybe I'm just so damn messed up that I don't even know what I'm talking about. But well, as I've said before 当局者迷, 旁观者清. That is what I'm feeling now, you can don't care about it though.
Anyways, coming back, just ending this with a...
I LOVE K.O SERIAL. VERY MUCH. ♥♥♥

Interclass games and some ranting~

Hehe, had interclass games for these 2 days, and I have serious muscle ache, oh gosh :( Well, to tell the truth, I've never played so... Serious for floorball before. But well, got into Top 5 but not Top 3, arghhh, so pekcek :( And this is the first time I've seen people like Comane and Kai Tian playing so serious, hahas, those slackers xD
Interclass games were rather fun, I think my forte is floorball ^^ Well, it is better than netball, but the netball girls got 3rd *claps* Hehe, and the soccer guys got 2nd, woah~ Hehehe, loved these 2 days to the max, at least, it wasn't that bad ;)
Today's CCA was really rather fun ^^ Had so much fun with Zolven setting up the mic stands, well at least we did crack some jokes, though he was being so mean, hahas. And had some fun with bubble wrap, hehehehe, I love bubble wraps!!!! ^^ Gosh, so childish, hahas, but it is really fun, everyone plays with bubble wrap, regardless of the age, blehhh~ Sooooo, CCA was not that bad, but to think that I have duty with her is a major turn-off, but at least I have company, so it shouldn't be that bad. Really, till now, whatever she does just... Arghhh, no, not thinking about it :x
I guess, there's nothing much to talk about, maybe the fact that we're getting back report book next Tuesday is seriously scary :( There are a handful of people going to retain, handful!!! Gosh, I really really really hope that it's not me. I mean, I swear, I'll work double, triple, a hundred times harder, I just want to pass this year and promote x.x
And well, Os is next Monday, I hope you have faith in yourself, I know you can do it! I'm not going to expect much, but yeah, seeing you in school would just be a bonus for me, hahas~
Now, for my ranting. I guess, this would be the only platform for me to rant about this, since... Tumblr isn't that safe now :/
It comes to a point whereby all relationships, be it between friends, families or couples, the parties involved would 习惯变自然. It's like cos' you're so used to just taking, you grow so used to it, that it comes to a point whereby you stop giving and constantly taking. But really, is that a true relationship? You know, it's getting on my nerves for these two days. Really. I've grown used to you talking to others and well, I just had to be alone or maybe find someone else, and it's only in class when you would come talk to me. You say that you wouldn't find someone else find someone in a conversation. But is it true? Ever heard of 当局者迷, 旁观者清? That's what you say, how would you know if it's truth? Is it even reliable? I don't know. Just because I don't say, you just treat it as nothing. Fine. I don't mind, really. But then, when I stop caring, or stop being like before, you think I've changed? How is that even changing? I'm still caring, but I stop showing, why? Cos' I'm just sick of it. I'm always the one starting to show concern. I know you're insensitive, or maybe you just don't show it, but really, have you ever thought that those sarcastic remarks, those insensitive-ness, those "uncaring" actions, just make me feel how used I am? I don't know. I don't even know what I'm feeling right now.
You should know that I'm not feeling well for these two days. Since Wednesday, I've been falling sick. Fine, I don't mind if you don't show your concern. But can you be more sensitive. I don't talk, doesn't mean you've become mute. Why can't you freaking hell start talking? Then we get that awkward silence. And it has been a few days that we get that awkward silence, don't you think that's a bit unusual? I can joke around with others, but when it comes to you, it just gets awkward. HAHA. Then later you complain that I can joke around with others, but I'm cold towards you. Ever wonder why?
It seems as if everything is my fault. Come to think of it, maybe. Maybe I tolerated, and continue giving, these wouldn't have happened? Maybe if I didn't type out that Tumblr post, and act as if everything is alright, these wouldn't have happened? But I'm tired. Really tired. You don't understand. Whenever I joke about these kind of stuffs, I really hope that maybe it would get into you, just that little bit. But then again, being the insensitive you, you would probably just throw it aside.
What hurts me the most is, I really don't think I'm worth over a guy. That guy. Just that one guy. Yeah, he's the most important to you now. He's everything to you, I know. That Wednesday, after getting back the results slip, you knew I was upset. You said it was a slip of your mind, when you were spazzing over that guy while I was emo-ing over my results slip. But if you truly care, there wouldn't be a "slip of your mind". You don't see me spazzing over guys when my friends are upset over something, do you? You don't see me going crazy over guys when my friends are already on the verge of tears, do you?
Then, we went back, and well, I faked a smile. Key word: faked. No one, not even you, seem to caught it. But I guess, I'm fine with it. And when we were left alone again, you just kept quiet. Maybe you felt guilty, or what, I don't know, and to be honest, I don't care. You are beginning to be more like them. Guys. Are they really that important? I guess, I'm never going to worth over a guy.
I've learnt that, Guys would always be more important than me. And your matters would always be the top priority than followed by mine. And well, I should always be happy, always caring, so that there wouldn't be anything for you to criticise. But I've got something to tell you. I'm tired. Really tired. But I guess you would never understand.
Ranting about this, cos' I know I have to. You can be joking around with them, and yet, you just become cold to me. You may say that I started it first, but have you ever wondered why? I doubt so. Why? Cos' I shouldn't even be feeling like this. To continue pleasing you, to continue caring, is my job.
Friendship. Guys. Which one would you choose? Or should I ask... Him or me? I guess, despite what, I know the answer.

Disappointment

I've always wondered if I can just turn back time and restart my Sec 3 life. Hahas. I'm only Sec 3. And well, things aren't going as smoothly as I've expected it to be. Regardless if it's studies, or relationship problems. Nothing is going smooth for me.
Studies = Disappointment. I've never felt so hopeless and helpless ever. I thought my studies were still alright. And yet, all the tests proved me wrong. My results are just like a sine graph. It goes up and down, up and down, and well, it never seemed to remain constant. I always thought my humanities can score. But I've no idea what the hell happened. Why did I drop so much? It's just so hard to hold back my tears and bring up a smile. I can't believe I failed Geog. And well, I don't think I did well for E-Hist and SS. Wow. High expectations of humanities just led me to have great disappointments. I have absolutely nothing to say about both my Maths and Sciences. And well, should I be surprised that my language were actually a little better than before? I don't know. What the hell have I been wasting my one year on? The only thing I can do now is to use that two months of holidays to catch up on the entire year. I can't afford to slack anymore. I really can't.

To you ♥

It's Day 9 from not seeing you. Okay, maybe I saw you on Tues. But then again, that doesn't seem to help much. Hahas. For me now, I guess, the only thing is to not even see you. That way, it can help me to forget you so much faster. Hearing so many things recently, and it just led me wonder so many things. That girl. That girl that you like. Do you still like her? Or do you already have someone else in mind? Someone, that I know, would never be me. It's always the same storyline for each drama. I like you. You like her. She like him. And the line carries on. Finding someone who you like and likes you back, it's just so impossible. So, I really hope those couples around us would last ;)
I really do wonder, how do you look at me. You know, it's kindda funny. I've known you for almost 3 years and yet, the first time that I ever held a true conversation with you was just last year, in August. I can never forget back then. August. Nearing National Day. Bicultural trip campfire. You were the IC of that event. I still remembered, that it was just kindda awkward with you. But things got better. We talked a little, and I mean it, it's just like 2 sentences? And then, all of a sudden, we started playing badminton. Hahas, I can never forget that. How can you ever not let me win? :( Hmm... Then we had the campfire. Instead of joining with your friends, you stayed at the mixer, being the responsible IC you should be, hahas. You didn't have dinner that night, and instead let us had dinner. And I can never forget how you would ask us to go back home first cos' it was around 10 plus, and we were girls. So you told us to leave first while you stayed to pack up with your friends. That day was the first time I officially knew you.
And ever since then, when you became the ACT of CCA, we had more activities together. I don't know if it's fate or what. But I'm glad that with every CCA session, whenever we split up into groups, you would just so happen to take on my group. Hahas. You, being you, would always crack jokes and simply bring laughter to the entire group. You don't really 摆架子 and well, it's just really comfortable to be around you. Maybe, that's just your personality. But that personality of yours, made me feel damn comfortable and well... It gives me a sense of security~ When ridiculous rumours were created, you didn't find it awkward with me, instead, you would even joke back. "再讲, 我打你啊!" Hahahas, come to think of it, it's really funny xD Not only that, you would even offer help for our studies, and well, I should have taken up that offer!
For just that short period of 3 months. You brought nothing but happiness for me. For just that short period of 3 months. You made me look forward to CCA every week. For just that short period of 3 months. You made me fall for you. So hard and so fast. You know, I never really expected myself to like anyone for the rest of my secondary school life. Cos' mainly I felt bad towards him. And well, it just doesn't seem right for me to like anyone else. But... Since August, since then, spending so much time with you, I just can't help it. I didn't really like you from the start. I always thought that it was just another infatuation and it will pass off soon. At least, that's what I thought in December. When you had already left early from the CCA outing. But then, when January came.
CCA Orientation. I can never forget that day. I realised. It wasn't just another infatuation that will pass off quickly. I've never felt so affected by a guy before. When you were awkward with me, for god knows what reason, I felt... Empty? Hurt? I don't know how to describe that feeling. It was like... I became so damn upset for the rest of the day. Maybe, it was due to me falling sick on that day, and I felt sort of pekcek. But then, I would never be so affected just because a guy is awkward with me. If it was others, I would have thought, "He's the one that's awkward, not me, not my problem." But it just isn't for you. It was only then. I realised.
To you, maybe you wouldn't even have a single memory of all these. But these are what I went through throughout the year. Whenever I see you, I get happy. Whenever I don't get to see you, I grumble. You really have no idea how happy I was when I talked to you. I guess, it was around March. I didn't know what happened. All I know was you started talking to me. And it wasn't just those short conversations, like during campfire, it was alot more. Like normal trainings. I was so happy, that I immediately went mad, when you were out of sight.
I guess, it's not just purely an infatuation now. It might really be like. Hahas. But, you've already graduated. And it's close to 0% for me to see you now. Since you didn't really like to come back to school, it's just impossible to see you. For now, for me to see you, it's just purely luck. Really luck. That day. Tuesday. I can never forget. You made me happy, maybe to the extent of forgetting my A-Maths results, for that few minutes. Seeing you just makes my day. I didn't expect you to be in school. When someone told me that she saw you in the canteen, I was trying to figure out where could you be. Until History lesson, when we had to go to the library. There, I saw you in your class tee. Have I ever mentioned that you simply look great in your class tee? Hahas. But I had to leave :( After getting back History test paper, I was really down. Really, really, really down. I wasn't performing up to expectations. That I know. But then, I saw you. And well, it just shook everything off my mind. I was really happy, elated, excited etc. I had no idea how to express that happiness. It was like... I didn't expect you to come out just at that moment and you did. You even stayed there for quite long.
Hahas. I'm sure that this might last for quite some time. Maybe even till next year. Just typing this to let me rewind back to those times when I felt very happy. When I felt so comfortable. When I felt the most sense of security. You're graduating, or should I say, you have already graduated. Things aren't going to change. For that. I just hope that you would have faith in yourself. Heard that you don't have much faith in yourself for your Os. Don't ever doubt yourself. Must believe in yourself. Must believe that you are able to do it. And when you have that belief, you would be able to score! I know it doesn't matter much to you if I'm here to support you. But well, just letting you know, I would be here to support you. No matter if you know it or not.
Have faith in yourself. Don't doubt yourself. I know you can do it! Jiayous for your O' levels! ^^